Its been a while

Its been a while since my last post, I can't believe we're nearing the end of April! How crazy fast has this year gone, to think I've been living here for over half a year now. I can still remember my very first day in Vancouver like it was yesterday. I started writing this post for the sake of posting something but now I feel like writing more than just the superficial updates of my life and delve a little deeper.

The past six months for me has been a rollercoaster, good times and bad. Yes, I regularly post about what an awesome time I am having here but there has certainly been times when I question why I'm here. Times where I am left with more questions than answers. Times when doubt creeps in my mind and won't leave. Its in the tough times where you are forced to evaluate which direction you are heading and the decisions made can change the direction of your life.

From an outsiders' perspective, it seems unexplainable why I'd quit my job, leave my family and friends and everything I know for the unknown. Ok, so I want to travel and I want to experience life but now I feel like I've done what I came out here to do. Mission accomplished. But then why can't I explain this unshakable feeling that this is where I want to stay and I don't mean stay for a few more months....but...like..indefinitely. I certainly do not have any financial, emotional or any other type of commitments that keep me here. In fact, I could pretty much take off and leave right now, return to Perth and resume my life. But I can't, I can't even bring myself to set a date when I'll return permanently. To be honest, as I contemplate to go back to Perth for a visit, it won't be more than a couple of weeks because I am going to miss Vancouver too much. Now that is such a strange concept for me to comprehend. Not wanting to go away for long periods of time because I'd miss home too much. Say what?! No, that doesn't even sound like me.

And did I just call Vancouver home?! Oh yes I did. See..this is what I mean!!! I am just writing exactly what I am thinking without censoring or filtering my thoughts and I just called Vancouver home. Vancouver, the place I've only lived for six months of my whole entire life. That's like 2% of my time I've been alive (yeah, I'm an accountant ok) and I start calling this place home. What's going on?!

Well, what makes a place a home? Is it the place you were born? Is it the place you grew up? Or is it the place you're currently living in? Because depending on your definition, my answer to all three questions are different.  I guess I would always consider Perth to be my hometown. Where I grew, where I went to school, where I lived for 90% of my life. So how can a small 2% compare to 90%? I don't know to be honest. I don't know why I feel the way I do. I don't even know whether I should be apologetic for it, but there is a sense of guilt that lingers whenever I think of my family and friends.

Hmmm...so what makes a place, a home then? For me, I don't think when I call Vancouver home I am referring to the actual city. It's my community I am referring to. You know those skill tester machines, where you try and pick up a soft toy/plush animal with the little crane things. I feel like I've been picked up and plopped into a community here that feels just like home, all warm, fuzzy and comfortable. Its the people and the relationships formed that makes a place a home. In saying that, I am in no way implying that community back at home is less important than what I have here, but rather what I have now is exactly what I need. Its suited to my lifestyle and what I want my future to look like.

They say who you surround yourself with is who you become. And as I think about that more, its quite funny. Most of my friends back at home (this may be slightly confusing as I am referring to Perth as my home as well =P) are in stable, professional jobs. You know, everyone I know is either a doctor, engineer, lawyer, dentist or accountant. Occupations that any asian parent would be so proud that their children are in. But lets be honest, being an accountant wasn't a particularly exciting job. Yes it paid the bills, but personally, I don't want to live life just to pay bills. In fact, I don't ever want to work a day in my life again. I believe when you find something you really enjoy doing, it never feels like work. I'm still working on finding that. So anyway, I was saying it was funny because I look around now and see who I am surrounded with. It seems like everyone have quite interesting careers, not your regular nine to five jobs. Many are stepping outside their comfort zones to pursue their passion. I can proudly say that I count music producers, actors, singers, artists and entrepreneurs in my repertoire of friends. I have no doubt that they will each be success in their chosen field. (Yay! Just found one of my friends appeared on Fringe!) Its inspiring to see what others are doing in their lives and encourages me to continue pressing in. Maybe that's why I'm so drawn to stay here, to be inspired by the creativity, the boldness and the leap of faith people are taking every day.

I see it. I hear about it. And I am living it.